Jewish Jokes

One afternoon Max comes home from work to find total mayhem. His two young children are in the front garden, naked, soaking wet and playing with the garden hose. There is food all over the lawn, rubbish spilled everywhere and some of their plants have been pulled up and are lying on the path.
The front door to their house is wide open and there’s no sign of their dog. As Max enters his house, he finds an even bigger mess. The nest of tables are lying on their sides, all the vases have been knocked over and wet flowers are on the floor, the armchair cushions are lying where they were thrown and one of the children has been sick over the carpet.  The TV is blaring out and the children’s room is strewn inches deep with toys and various items of clothing.
Max goes into the kitchen and finds the sink full of unwashed dishes from the morning’s breakfast, none of the food has been cleared up, the fridge door is wide open and there’s dog food on the floor.
He’s quite worried by now and heads up the stairs to look for his wife Fay. He has to step over yet more toys and piles of clothes. He’s worried Fay might be ill, or even worse.
As Max passes the bathroom, water is trickling under the door and into the hall. So he peers inside and sees wet towels, spilt bath oils, his shaver lying on the floor and toothpaste smeared everywhere. He turns off the bath tap and rushes to his bedroom. There he finds Fay.
She’s curled up in bed, still in her pyjamas and reading a book. She smiles at him and says, "How did your day go, darling?"
Max looks at her bewildered and asks, "What happened here today, Fay?"
She again smiles, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," he replies.
"Well," says Fay, "today I didn't do it."