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Jewish Jokes


One very windy day, a rabbi was on his way to the temple. Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew his streimel (fur hat) off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away.. He just couldn"t catch up with it.

A young gentile man, witnessing this event and being more fit than the rabbi, ran after the hat and caught it. The young gentile man handed the hat over to the rabbi. The rabbi was so pleased and grateful that he gave the man twenty dollars, put his hand on the man"s head and blessed him. The young man was very excited about both the tip and the blessing.

The young gentile decided to take his new found wealth to the racetrack. He bet the entire $20 on the first race that he could. After the races the young man returned home and recounted his very exciting
day at the races to his father. "I arrived at the fifth race," said the young man."I looked at the racing program and saw a horse by the name of " Top Hat" was running. The odds on this horse were 100-to-1. It was the longest shot in the field."

After saving the rabbi"s hat, having received the rabbi"s blessing, gotten the $20, and seeing " Top Hat" in the fifth race, I thought this was a message from God. So, I bet the entire 20 dollars on Top Hat." "An amazing thing happened. The horse that was the longest shot and who did not have the slightest chance to even show, came, in first by 5 lengths."

"You must have made a fortune," said the father.

"Well yes, $2000. But wait, it gets better," replied the son. "In the following race, I looked at the program. A horse by the name of "Stetson" was running. The odds on the horse were 30 to 1". Stetson
being some kind of hat and again thinking of the rabbi"s blessing and his hat, I decided to bet all my winnings on this horse."

"What happened?" asked the excited father. "Stetson came in like a rocket. Now I had $60,000!" "Are you telling me you brought home all this money?" asked his excited father. "No," said the son. "I lost it all on the next race. There was a horse in this race named "Chateau," which is French for hat. So I decided to bet all the money on Chateau. But the horse broke down and came in last."

"Hat in French is "Chapeau" not "Chateau" you moron," said the father. "You lost all of the money because of your ignorance. Tell me, what horse won the race?"

The son answered, "A long shot from Japan named 'Yarmalka'"


An American an Indian and an Israeli go out for a meal. The waiter comes over and says I'm sorry but we have a Shortage of meat tonight could you order something else.

The American "whats a Shortage"???
The Indian "whats Meat"???
The Israeli "whats I'm Sorry"??

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