A Rabbi announced that admission to a Synagogue social event would be six dollars per person.
"However, if you're over 65," he said, "the price will be only $5.50."
From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out: "Do you really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?!"
A Chinese businessman operating out of south China suffers a string of robberies. He calls up his associate in Israel and asks him if he ever had a problem with robberies.
"Not really," replies the Israeli. "We have this thing we put on the doorpost - called a mezuzah - and it protects our homes from harm."
"Send me one," begs the Chinese guy, "I'm desperate for a solution." A few weeks later, the Israeli gets his mezuzah back in the mail.
He calls up his Chinese friend. "Nu," he asks him. "The mezuzah didn't work? You were robbed again?" "No, no," the Chinese guy assures him, "It worked great-no robberies." "So why did you send it back?"
The Chinese guy sighs. "I dunno," he says. "Ever since I hung it up, the doorbell doesn't stop ringing. Each time a different dude is standing there, saying that he’s collecting tzedakah!" (Charity)
