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Jewish Jokes

Jewish Jokes

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Swimming

Two Jews, Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat
starts sinking. Saul says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I don't swim
so well." Morty remembers how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard
class when he was just a kid, so he begins tugging Saul toward shore.
After ten minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 100 feet from shore, Morty asks Saul, "So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?"
Saul replies,"Morty, this is a hell of a time to be asking for money!"

Education

Little 5year old Benjy was practicing spelling on his fridge using a set of magnetic letters. Freda, his mother, had watched him put together words such as ‘mum’, ‘dad’, ‘dog’, ‘cat’ and ‘car’ and was very proud of her clever son.
But then Benjy shouted out, "Look what I spelled, mummy."
Freda looked at the fridge and saw that he had put up the three magnetic letters, ‘G’ ‘O’ ‘D’.
"Why, that's wonderful, Benjy," she said, "why don’t you leave them on the fridge until daddy comes home?"
"OK, mummy," he said.
But just as Freda was thinking that the Jewish school he went to was starting to have an impact, Benjy’s little voice called out, "Mummy, how do you spell zilla?"

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