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Jewish Jokes

Jewish Jokes

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Heat

Moishe left the cold climate of Edgware and went on holiday to Florida. His wife Becky, who was in a Bridge competition, was planning to join him in Florida the next day.
When Moishe reached his hotel, he decided to send Becky a quick email to say he’d arrived and all was well. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written the email address she had given him, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his email was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving woman checked her email, she took one look at the screen, let out a piercing scream, fainted and fell to the floor with a thud. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this email on the screen:
“Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here.”

President

Harry Goldberg has been elected the next president of the United States--the first Jewish boy to reach the Whitehouse.

He is very proud and phones his mother in New York to invite her to the inauguration. Harry: Momma, guess what! I've just been elected president, won't you come to my inauguration?

Mother: Harry! You know I hate trains. I can't face the journey all the way to Washington. Maybe next time.

Harry: Momma! You will take no train. Air Force One will collect you. The journey will be over in 30 minutes. Come to my inauguration, please.

Mother: Harry, I hate hotels. The non-kosher food! Nahh, maybe next time.

Harry: Momma!! You will stay in the White House, a kosher chef to yourself. PLEASE come.

Mother: Harry! I have nothing to wear!

Harry: I have someone on his way to take you to Macy's and Bloomingdale's to make you look perfect. You must come!!!
Mother: Okay, okay, I suppose I will come.

Inaugaration day comes. Mother is on the front row, next to the Secretary of State. Harry is called up to become the next president. Mother digs the Secretary of State in the ribs and says, "Hey, you see that boy Harry? His brother is a very successful doctor!"

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