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Jewish Jokes

Yiddish

Sadie, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Brooklyn. She stops him and asks, "Farshtayn Yiddish?" (which means: do you understand Yiddish) The man answers, "Yes, Ich Farshtay." Sadie then says, "Vot Time iz It?"

Master

A salesman approached a home and heard a big commotion inside. When the door was opened by a man, the salesman asked if he could speak to the master of the home.

"Well, sir," came the reply, "you will have to wait around a bit; we are deciding just that right at this moment."

Tired and Thirsty

The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."

The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac."

The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."

The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."

The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."

The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."

Speaking

Avi was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words?"
Sadie replies, "The reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice."
Avrahom turns to Sadie and asks, "What?"

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