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Jewish Jokes

Kol Nidrei

Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy.

He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Kol Nidre night, but tonight the Mets are in the World Series. Rabbi, I'm a life long Mets fan. I've got to watch the game on TV."

Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that's what video recorders are for."

Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre"?

The Barber

One day a priest walks into a barber & asks for a haircut. When the barber finished the priest asked: how much do I owe you? The barber replied: oh don't worry it's free. The next day the barber opens the shop door & finds 3 bottles of whisky from the priest as thanks.
 
On the second day a monk walks into a barber & asks for a haircut. When the barber finished the Monk asked: how much do I owe you? The barber replied: oh don't worry it's free. The next day the barber opens the shop door & finds 3 bottles of brandy as thanks.
 
On the third day a Rabbi walks into a barber & asks for a haircut. When the barber finished the Rabbi asked the same question and the barber again declined payment. The next day the barber opens the shop & finds 3 rabbis standing outside for free haircuts.
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